


Every Thought A Thought Of You

by soupcleric



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Slight Alcoholism, attempting to make the ninken still be ninken while also being regular fucking dogs is hard, in which gai and tenzou are literally the best, it's only mentioned but still!, kakashi's in a band, they're neighbors!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-19 11:25:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17600435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soupcleric/pseuds/soupcleric
Summary: Iruka hadn't wanted his first interaction with his next door neighbor to be him yelling at the guy for playing electric guitar at 2am, but here he was, standing barefoot in the hallway, doing exactly that. He can only be grateful to the universe that his neighbor isn't an asshole, but he also feels a little ridiculous in sweatpants and a t-shirt, 'cause the guy is ridiculously attractive- even with 3/4ths of his face covered by a mask and eyepatch.





	1. Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title taken from a song of the same name by mewithoutyou

Iruka Umino had finally reached the end of his rope. 

It was in the early hours of Monday morning, 1:45am to be exact, and the only reason he was even awake this late was because of his next door neighbor \-- who apparently played electric guitar until early morning on school nights. 

Iruka groans as another song starts up, running a hand through his hair in exasperation. He  _ needed _ to sleep. It would be his first day teaching at his new school tomorrow and he needed to be as well rested as possible to keep his anxiety down. He hadn’t slept well the past few nights, having spent most of his time moving into the new apartment. It was always hard to sleep the first couple nights in a new place.

Iruka paused  and crossed his fingers as the last chords of the current song died out, hoping desperately that his neighbor was done for the night. 

He wasn’t. 

“Fuck.” Iruka hissed out loud as he ma de a snap decision. He hadn’t really wanted his first interaction with his neighbor to be a bad one, but apparently there was no helping it. 

Iruka didn’t even  bother  put ting on shoes before exiting his apartment and stomping down the hall. Whoever was in there was in the middle of a song but he honestly didn’t care . Iruka banged against the door with the side of his fist, loudly, crossed his arms over his chest, and waited. 

A dog started barking the second Iruka had knocked, the guitar cutting off almost immediately as well. He hears someone whistle sharply and the barking stop ped . Iruka thinks that if he wasn’t so mad, he’d probably be impressed by this person’s dog training. He hear d shuffling noises behind the door before an unlocking sound. The door swung open and  _ holy shit _ Iruka was not expecting this. 

The man who’d answered the door was a few years older than Iruka himself and more than a couple inches taller. He was long and lean, with pale skin and silver-grey hair that defied gravity, and handsome as hell. Well, at least Iruka got the feeling he was handsome. It was hard to tell with 2/3rds of his face covered in a mask and an eyepatch. The one eye that was visible looked him over with interest, the man crossing his arms and leaning casually against the doorframe. At the movement, his plain white t-shirt stretched around his arms and  _ fuck _ this guy was built. He tilts his head, soft-looking hair falling gently across his eyepatch and  _ oh my god please stop thinking about how soft his hair looks holy shit- _

Iruka snapped out of it, realizing a little too late that he’d been staring and, if the heat on his cheeks was any indicator, blushing as well. 

“Do you know what time it is?” He snap ped , remembering what he came here for and regaining some of his earlier composure.

The man blinked, surprised, before fishing out his phone from his back pocket and checking the time. 

“1:54?” He tried, his voice a quiet rumble that some deeply buried part of Iruka decided it liked  _ a lot _ . He forced it back down and continued.

“You’ve been playing guitar since 10pm, and  _ loudly _ I might add.” Iruka glared. The man had the decency to at least look guilty at that. “I don’t know what you have to do tomorrow, but I need to be awake in 4 hours to teach at an elementary school, so can you please,  _ please _ quiet down?”

“Sure. Sorry to keep you up, teach.” The man shrugged after a second, looking nonchalant, but Iruka could still hear the way his voice lifted at the end of the nickname. 

“Thank you.” Iruka sighed, relieved, sending the man a grateful nod and smiling tiredly. 

The other man saluted wordlessly and Iruka takes that as his cue to leave. He feels the man’s eyes on him for a  moment  before his neighbor’s door clicks shut, and Iruka lets his shoulders sag. While that wasn’t the  _ worst  _ interaction they could’ve had, it certainly wasn’t great,  but  Iruka was incredibly thankful that his neighbor wasn’t as much of an asshole as he’d thought. He locked his front door behind him, and all but collapsed into bed. It takes a couple minutes, but Iruka’s ears eventually picked up the sound of guitar again. He sat up, about to retract all of his earlier statements about the guy not being an asshole when he realizes that it’s acoustic this time, softer and more gentle. 

Earlier, Iruka had been too pissed to truly listen to the guitar his neighbor was playing, but now he strained his ears to catch every note. The man was skilled, incredibly so. The song was beautiful and calming, and before long, Iruka was fast asleep. 

 

—

 

Iruka, despite not enjoying conflict, was glad he’d gone out of his way to confront his neighbor. After that disaster of a night, the man had stuck to a strict schedule of electric guitar from 9-11pm, and then, occasionally, acoustic guitar afterwards. It didn’t happen a lot, and while Iruka’s actually started to enjoy the electric guitar, he finds himself unconsciously crossing his fingers every night for another chance to hear the man play acoustically. 

Iruka, heading home after a particularly rough school day, was surprised to see his neighbor exit his own apartment at the same time. He almosts avoids him entirely, his weariness bone deep and starting to make him a little irritable, but he makes the mistake of looking over at the man, and immediately knows he’s too gay to go inside right away. 

His neighbor was dressed in black jeans and boots, the tucked-in dark red t-shirt he sported a stark contrast against his pale skin. His silver-grey hair remains gravity-defying, and when he looks up, Iruka notices the smudge of red eyeshadow on the man’s visible eye. He was still wearing the mask and eyepatch, which was a little strange, honestly, but it isn’t Iruka’s place to comment-- so he stays quiet. Strapped to the other man’s back, however, was a guitar case and Iruka was itching to ask about that, at least. Still, he’s dead tired, so they just kinda stare at each other for a moment before the other man approaches and speaks up. 

“Hey, uh-“ He starts, looking a little awkward. “Sorry about a last week, I didn’t realize someone had moved in.” The man rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “I feel like we got off on the wrong foot.”

Iruka nods in agreement, and the man looks relieved. 

“Kakashi Hatake.” the man offers a hand to Iruka. 

After a second, he takes it. 

“Iruka Umino.” 

Iruka doesn’t know how he can tell but he gets the feeling Kakashi is grinning. 

The palm of his hand is calloused, yet still soft, and Iruka finds himself growing warm. After a second, an angry buzzing noises sounds, and Kakashi sighs, pulling away from Iruka in order to grab his phone from his back pocket. He glances at the caller ID and grimaces. 

“I gotta take this,” he looks over at Iruka and smiles visibly with his uncovered eye. “Have a good night, teach.” 

And with that he picks up the call and walks away, a slight sway in his hips. 

Iruka stand there, a little thrown off guard, and watches Kakashi answer the phone as he moves down the hall. 

“Maa, what’s up?” 

Iruka sees Kakashi pull the phone away from his ear, the tinny sounds of someone yelling reaching Iruka at the other end of the corridor.

“Jeez, okay, no need to be so loud. I’m on my way.” 

Kakashi’s voice fades away as he turns a corner and Iruka’s left alone, realizing he’d never gotten the chance to ask what the other man was doing. 

This….might be a problem. 

 

—

 

Before Kakashi is even halfway through the door, he hears Gai exclaim. 

“My esteemed Rival!” the man practically yells. “You are late once again!”

“We’re not rivals anymore,” Kakashi sighs, exasperated. It was an old argument at this point, but apparently a necessary one to have. “We’re in the same band.”

“Regardless,” Tenzou sighs from across the room. “You’re still late. What’s your excuse?”

Kakashi thinks of tan skin, of a tight ponytail and of a scar stretched across the bridge of a crooked nose. He thinks of the light blush that colored the man’s cheeks when he’d seen Kakashi approach.

“I didn’t feel like being on time.” Kakashi lies, shrugging. His friends didn’t need to know, at least, not yet.

Tenzou gives him a look, but Gai buys it almost instantly. 

“Once Again,” Gai shakes his head, voice way to loud for the small room they’re all in. “You Never Fail to Disappoint with Your Tardiness!”

Kakashi pats him on the shoulder.

“At this point, it’s on you to expect anything else.”

Gai grumbles something, but before their conversation goes any further, one of the stage hands pops his head in the room and glances around at them.

“It’s time.”

Kakashi nods, unpacking and tuning his guitar quickly and carefully, before slinging the strap around his shoulder and straightening up. Tenzou stands and stretches, grabbing his bass, while Gai practically jumps off of the couch he’d settled into and grabs Kakashi’s wrist, dragging him out of the room and towards the stage. They pause for a moment at the edge of the curtains and take a breath. Tenzou claps them both on the shoulder and nods.

“Let’s go.”

Gai steps out first, settling naturally behind the drumset to cheers. He gives his signature thumbs up and the crowd gets louder. Tenzou is next, moving to the far side of the stage, and finally, it’s Kakashi’s turn.

They were a pretty popular band at this point, had built up a solid fanbase over the timespan of a couple years, and, by now, logically, Kakashi should be used to it. He isn’t.

As soon as he steps into the bright stage lights, the crowd reaches new levels of loudness. A couple people scream his name and Kakashi feels his face heat up. Thank god he wears a mask. He steps up to the microphone and grips it tightly, letting the noise of the crowd wash over him before he speaks.

“Hey,” he starts, awkward as ever. Tenzou shoots him an exasperated look that he pointedly ignores. “How’s everyone doing tonight?”

A couple people answer, but mostly there’s just more noise at the sound of Kakashi’s voice. He laughs anyway, tension easing out of his shoulders.

“Welcome to our little show,” he grins, letting the sound of his smile echo in the room. “We’re the band Pathos.” 

He glances out over the crowd and nods, says some more bullshit that always gets their fans riled up, and only stops once the crowd gets restless. He’s pushed enough. 

Time to sing.

“Anyway,” he lets go of the microphone and adjusts his guitar. As soon as he does so, the mood of the concert shifts into palpable anticipation. Even the people at the bar in the back turn their full attention to him as he positions himself to play. “It’s time for what you all came here for.” 

Cheers went up as Kakashi takes a breath, and hits a solid chord.

The thrum of his guitar rumbles through the floor as it gets picked up by the amp, and the thump of Gai starting up a beat on the drumset soon follows. Tenzou nods and joins in on bass. Kakashi feels a rush of energy under his skin as his vocal cue comes up and he begins to sing.

He can feel the crowd buzz at the sound of his voice, and fights down a grin, letting the noises around him take over until it was only him and the music filling up his brain.

The concert goes spectacularly, and all too soon Kakashi is catching his breath in the green room, splayed out on the couch with his guitar neatly tucked back into its case. He can still feel the beat of Gai’s drumming in his veins and the bright spotlights were still burned into his retinas, even when he closed his eyes. He’s sweaty and needs a shower desperately, but that would require moving, which is the last thing he wanted to do right then.

He hears Tenzou approach and something cold is pushed into his hand. Kakashi cracks open his one uncovered eye and makes a grateful noise as he registers the water bottle that had been given to him. 

“Drink.” The man orders and Kakashi is happy to comply. His voice always gets so much rougher after a show- someone called it sexy once, but it’s more of a nuisance than anything else.

“Thanks, Mom.” Kakashi teases, and earns a smack to the back of his head. “So rude!” he grumbles dramatically.

“Ungrateful.” Tenzou glares at him, but doesn’t comment otherwise. “Gai wants to go out and get drinks, you up for it?”

“Maa, he always wants to go out.” Kakashi waves his hand dismissively. “I’m tired.”

Tenzou snorts and moves to his bag,  from  which he pulls a bottle of alcohol.

“Too tired to drink, or too tired to go out?” He questions, already pouring two drinks, and Kakashi drags himself into a sitting position, chuckling.

“Never too tired for alcohol, Tenzou.” He winks, pulling down his mask before downing most of the drink handed to him in one go. He ignores Tenzou’s concerned look at his comment and finishes it off quickly. 

Gai pops into the room to grab his stuff and bid his goodbyes, loud as always, before heading out for the night.

Despite Tenzou’s obvious dislike of Kakashi’s drinking habits, he pours another drink for both of them, and they settle in for a couple hours, casually chatting and exchanging stories. He’s pretty tipsy by the end of the night, but not nearly drunk enough for what comes next.

Tenzou sets his empty glass down on the table and fixes Kakashi with a frown that pins him in place.

“Kakashi,” he starts, voice serious. “How...are you?”

“I’m fine.” Kakashi answers, deflecting poorly. “How are  _ you _ ?” 

Tenzou ignores his attempt and raises an eyebrow. 

“Seriously, Kakashi. You’ve been avoiding your friends, you’ve been isolating yourself and drinking  _ way _ too much. Something’s up and we’re worried about you.”

“I’m  _ fine _ .” Kakashi snaps, shoulders hunching, before repeating himself, softer this time. “I’m fine. Just….working through some stuff.”

That was a lie. Kakashi wouldn’t be caught dead working through his problems. 

Tenzou must sense that Kakashi isn’t going to budge and sighs wearily, rubbing his forehead like he’d gotten a headache from all of this.

“We should get out of here.” he says after a bit, and Kakashi nods, only swaying a little when he stands.  _ Shit, _ he was more drunk than he’d thought.

The walk home was short, quiet, and filled with the type of tension Kakashi very much didn’t like. It wasn’t uncomfortable, since he and Tenzou had long grown past ever feeling that around each other, but it wasn’t great either. He’s almost relieved when they reach his front door.

Tenzou bids him a quick goodnight and then Kakashi is alone again, his apartment feeling horribly empty in the dark. His drunken mind thinks of Next-Door-Neighbor-Iruka and he spends the rest of the night staring at the ceiling and wondering what  _ his _ apartment looked like.

He figures it’d have way more personality than his own, of course. Iruka’s a school teacher, right? He probably hangs his student’s drawings on the wall, or something cute like that.

Kakashi smiles dumbly at the thought.

Iruka had just moved in a week ago, though, so maybe he hadn’t actually had a chance to unpack and decorate just yet.  _ Still _ , Kakashi thinks. Even if he hadn’t touched a single moving box, his apartment would still probably feel comfortable and cozy, like an beloved sweatshirt. It’d be warm, just like Iruka.

 

—

 

Iruka sits out on the balcony in back of his apartment. Being on the fourth floor offered a pretty good view, and he was happy he’d been able to find a place with such a nice outdoor space. It’s been roughly a month since beginning his teaching job and he’s finally,  _ finally _ starting to get into the groove of things. 

Earlier in the day he’d decided to make good use of the nice weather before October hit, and had dragged out one of his kitchen chairs to the balcony to grade papers. It’s been a good number of hours since then, the sun long since set, and Iruka had to go inside at one point to grab a sweater and to make sure the balcony light worked properly. 

He’s almost done with the last stack of papers when the door on the balcony next to his slid open, allowing his neighbor to spill out into the cool night air. A small brown pug follows at his heels and circles the balcony for a minute to look for a place to sit. Kakashi practically collapses into the only chair, the pug jumping up into his lap immediately, and Iruka almost wants to ask if the man is okay before he catches the light glinting off a bottle gripped in Kakashi’s hand. 

_ He’s drunk _ . Iruka’s mind supplies helpfully. 

The other man buries his head in his hands, letting out a tired breath and Iruka suddenly feels like he’s intruding on something he shouldn’t be privy to. 

He and Kakashi had exchanged words a couple times in the hallway since the guitar playing incident, but that didn’t mean Iruka felt even a little comfortable being a voyeur of the man’s obvious sadness. 

Before he can do so much as think about moving, Kakashi notices his presence and looks over, eyebrow pulled together in confusion. He doesn’t look angry so much as hesitantly curious. After a long moment of silence, Iruka decides to bite the bullet. 

“Hey.” He calls out, raising a hand in greeting.   
Kakashi’s eye is bright in the darkness and he slowly raises a hand in response.

“Hello.”

Iruka feels a shiver go through him. If he’d thought he’d liked Kakashi’s voice before, nothing compared to the husky rumble that greets him now.

“What happened to your voice?” Iruka blurts out, not thinking, wincing as Kakashi only raises an eyebrow at the question in return. “I mean...It’s rougher than before. I was just…” he trails off, embarrassment stealing the words from his brain.

Kakashi looks at him for a long moment before replying, his voice betraying the smile hidden by his mask.

“I’m a singer.” he explains. “There was a concert tonight.”

Iruka tilts his head, surprised.

He wasn’t quite prepared for that answer, but at the same time...it kinda made sense. 

“A singer?” Iruka echoes, curious. “I thought you played guitar?”

Kakashi laughs, the sound bouncing off the walls and Iruka wants to listen to it forever, probably.

“I do both.” The silver haired man shrugs. 

“You must be mighty popular, then, huh?” Iruka muses, a blush high on his cheeks as he realizes a second too late that he’s  _ flirting _ .

“Of course.” Kakashi catches on and winks at Iruka (though how Iruka can tell it’s a wink and not Kakashi blinking, he’ll never know). “Fans can’t get enough.”

Its Iruka’s turn to laugh, and he sees Kakashi sit up a little straighter in his seat.

“Well why wouldn’t they?” Iruka covers his grin with his hand, trying to reign himself back in. “A pretty boy guitarist that can sing? Fans must find you irresistible.”

Kakashi pauses at that, staring at Iruka for a long moment.

“You think I’m pretty?” He asks after a second, bemused, his voice softer than before.   
“To be fair, I’ve only seen a third of your face.” Iruka shrugs and points out, trying desperately to save face. Kakashi laughs at that and sets the bottle of alcohol down, apparently having forgone any plans to drink more.

“So you must have fallen for my stellar personality, instead, right?” Kakashi jokes, propping his head up with his arm and waiting for Iruka to respond. 

“Kakashi, this is our second conversation, and you’re _drunk_.” Iruka laughs as the other man pouts and looks rather upset at his response. 

“I think  _ you’re _ pretty.” 

It’s mumbled under Kakashi’s breath, barely loud enough to be heard, but Iruka catches it anyway, and it knocks him backwards a bit. 

“You’re drunk.” Iruka says again, not trusting his brain to come up with anything else. 

“You wound me, Iruka. I’m not  _ nearly _ as drunk as I would like to be.” Kakashi bemoans, falling backwards dramatically into the chair. 

A twinge of worry rings in Iruka’s chest, but the man ignores it in favor of standing up and stretching. He feels Kakashi’s eyes on him more than he sees them. 

“You should try and sleep, Kakashi.” Iruka checks his phone. “It’s nearly 3am.” 

“Maa, it’s friday,” the man waves a hand dismissively. “There are a billion things I’d rather do than sleep.”

There’s something else there, but Iruka doesn’t push it. He doesn’t know Kakashi nearly well enough to ask. 

“Friday or not,” Iruka picks up his graded papers and tucks them under his arm. “It’s still 3am.  _ I’m _ going to bed, at least.”

He sends a tired salute Kakashi’s way and is halfway inside the apartment when he pauses and glances back behind him. 

Kakashi is staring somewhere off in the distance, shoulders set and tense. The brown pug has gone back inside sometime during their conversation, allowing the other man to pull his knees up to his chest and look- Iruka had never thought he would use this word to describe Kakashi but-  _ small _ . 

He purses his lips, thinking hard, before speaking again. 

“If you need anything,” Iruka calls out, pulling the other man out of his thoughts and back to the present. “You know where I live. Goodnight, Kakashi.”

He doesn’t catch Kakashi’s look of stunned gratefulness, but he does hear the quiet return of  _ goodnight _ that reaches him just before he shuts the balcony door. 

Iruka sleeps well that night, but has strange dreams he doesn’t quite remember- only the feeling of having been searching for something remains the next morning. 

 

—

 

Iruka doesn’t hear from Kakashi for a couple days after that. He doesn’t come out onto the balcony again,  and  he doesn’t seem to leave his apartment at all . The guitar playing doesn’t stop,  but  it’s all acoustic now ; the melody  changing every night, but somehow always quiet and kinda sad. 

It bothers Iruka that he doesn’t know how to help, or even if he’d be allowed to in the first place. He didn’t know Kakashi that well, but still. He wanted to do something. 

So he went to the store on the fourth day of radio silence and bought what he needed to make cookies. 

About a quarter of the way into the process, a rapid knocking sounds at Iruka’s door. He startles, not having expected anyone to bother him today. 

He pads over to the door and looks through the peephole, unable to help the fond smile that pulls at his mouth when he sees his unexpected visitor. He quickly unlocks the door and swings it open. 

“Naruto!” He grins, bracing himself for impact as the 12 year old launches directly into his chest. “What are you doing here?”

Despite having his face smushed into the front of Iruka’s t-shirt, Naruto attempts to answer, though he’s largely muffled by the fabric. 

“You’ve been so busy these past weeks, Iruka, I missed you!”

Iruka laughs and pries him off, but not before ruffling the blonde’s already spiky hair. 

“I missed you too, kid.” 

Naruto beams at that, before he fully throws himself into the apartment, darting around from corner to corner to check things out, asking all sorts of questions about Iruka’s new place. After a quick tour, Naruto settles down at the kitchen table and Iruka goes back to baking.

They pass the time easily as Iruka finishes up the last batch of cookies, Naruto loudly chattering about his school life from his seat a couple feet away. 

After awhile, the kid’s curiosity gets the better of him and he finally asks the question that had been bugging him for awhile.

“What’s with the cookies, Iruka?” Naruto blurts out, fingers gripping the edge of the table tightly as he leans forward in interest. 

Smiling lightly at the boy’s antics, Iruka shakes his head and packs about half of the cookies into a bag, the other half going onto a plate he then sets out in front of Naruto. 

“These are for you and me,” he nods, laughing as Naruto’s eyes light up. “But these are for my next door neighbor.” He gestures to the bag he’d left on the counter. Naruto pauses with a cookie halfway into his mouth and looks surprised. 

“Why would you make cookies for your  _ neighbor _ ?” He frowns, clearly confused. 

“He needs them more than I do.” Iruka answers vaguely, but it seems to satisfy Naruto enough that he shoves the rest of the cookie into his mouth with a happy noise. 

As his ex-student stuffs himself, Iruka grabs a piece of paper and a pen and scrawls out a quick note. He’s not entirely satisfied but it would do. He folds it neatly into fourths and tucks it into the bag. 

“Do you want to come with me?” Iruka asks, already slipping off his apron and brushing the flour from his jeans. 

“Sure.” Naruto shrugs, pushing himself off the chair and grabbing Iruka’s hand on his way out. It warms him, to say the least, that his ex-student would feel comfortable with that level of closeness. Not for the first time, he’s glad he has Naruto. 

Iruka doesn’t bother locking the door behind him, as they only had a short walk down the hall, his mind already preoccupied with the small bundle of nerves building up in his gut. 

What if Kakashi didn’t want his gift? What if he was turned away? What if he was ignored? 

Anxious thoughts swirled around his head and Iruka only hesitated a little before knocking. Naruto notices, of course, and frowns. 

“Are you nervous?” He asks, a little too loudly for Iruka’s tastes. 

“No,” he shoots back, steeling himself. “I just wanted to make sure my timing was good.”

“Yeah, right.” Naruto sniffs, and Iruka knocks then, rolling his eyes. 

A couple seconds pass before the muffled sound of footsteps approaching was heard, and the door swung open. 

Kakashi stood in the doorway, shoulders tense, gazing at his two visitors with barely concealed surprise. His eye flickers from Iruka to Naruto, and his confusion visibly grows. 

Iruka takes the moment to observe his neighbor. He hasn't slept much, if at all, since Iruka last talked to him, that much was obvious. He had a dark bag under his visible eye, his hair and clothes were disheveled, and the apartment behind him was a mess. He looks like shit.

“You look like shit.” Iruka tells him, eyeing the other man. 

“Thanks.” Kakashi murmurs, shoulders slumping. 

Iruka sighs and extends the arm holding the bag of cookies. 

“Here,” he nods, taking Kakashi’s look of confusion in stride and clarifying. “They’re cookies. Homemade. Thought you might need something like that.” He shrugs. 

Kakashi’s hand is trembling slightly when he takes the bag, but Iruka doesn’t press. 

“Thanks.” Kakashi says again, sincere this time. 

“Why are you wearing a mask?”

They both jump at the sudden, and loud, question, all eyes turning to stare at Naruto. 

“It makes me look cool.” Kakashi tilts his head. 

It’s a clever deflection, said to keep Naruto from digging any more, and it works. 

“Haa?” Naruto makes a face. “But you don’t look cool at all!”

“Naruto,” Iruka warns tiredly. “No need to be rude.”

The 12 year old pouts and pulls at Iruka’s sweater impatiently. 

“He’s weird, Iruka, let’s go back inside.”

Iruka sends an apologetic smile Kakashi’s direction just as the boy starts to pull harder. 

“Naruto, stop pulling on my sweater. Let me say goodbye.”

Naruto lets go but crosses his arms, looking like a much younger child about to have a tantrum. Iruka sighs wearily, and turns back to Kakashi, who’s been staring at Naruto curiously. 

“My offer stands, by the way.” He says, watching as Kakashi’s head snaps up to look at him. “If you need anything, just let me know. I’ll see you later, Kakashi.”

With that he takes his leave, grabbing Naruto by the ear and dragging him back into his apartment. 

Naruto yells so loudly he couldn’t hear the click Kakashi’s door closing even if he had strained his ears. He doesn’t turn around to check either way.

Naruto’s still pouting and rubbing his ear an hour later, so Iruka caves and pulls out three ramen packets. The kid brightens up instantly, going from petulant to practically vibrating with excitement in less than a second. 

They’re halfway through their meal  when Naruto speaks again. 

“You’re neighbor is weird.” He states, and Iruka is about to lecture him for being rude again when the 12 year old continues. “But he’s also really sad.” A pause. “I think it’s a good thing you’re here, teach. I think he needs you. And...”

Iruka raises an eyebrow as Naruto trails off. 

“And?” He prompts. Naruto makes a face, choosing his words carefully before continuing, which is almost as surprising as the thing he says. 

“Maybe you need him too.”

 

—

 

Kakashi stares at the bag of cookies for half a day before caving. 

The cookies are good.  _ Really _ good. 

He eats three before he notices the note, tucked into the bottom of the bag. 

He unfolds it curiously, eyebrows drawing together as he starts to read. 

_ Kakashi _ , it starts, in a loose script that could only be Iruka’s.  _ You’ve been quiet since we talked, so I wanted to make sure you knew you could come to me if you wanted. No pressure or anything, but I’m here. I hope your days get better. _

It’s signed  _ Iruka _ , and, underneath the signature, was a phone number. 

Kakashi feels his heart stop in his chest for a full three minutes before he so much as moves. 

He shakes his head after a while, blinking away his surprise. Surely Iruka was just being nice, he shouldn’t get so worked up about it. It wasn’t even like Kakashi was super interested anyway, his neighbor was just attractive. Very attractive. And kind. And a really good baker. And a teacher. And- 

Kakashi groans, burying his head in his hands on top of the counter.

Christ, who was he kidding? He was fucking  _ screwed _ .

He wanted to scream at himself. Of  _ course _ this would happen. Of  _ course _ he would like a guy so obviously out of his league it wasn’t even funny.

“Fuck.” he says out loud, causing Pakkun to look up and over at him from his position on the couch. Kakashi could almost hear the pug’s question when their eyes met.

“Sorry.” he apologizes. “I just....don’t know what to do. About this….About Iruka.”

Pakkun stares at him pointedly for a little longer before letting out a big doggie sigh and laying back down, content to laze around for a little longer.

Kakashi lets out a sigh of his own and grimaces. He might as well text the other man and thank him. It’d already been a couple hours since the man had come by and he didn’t want to seem rude by not texting at all. He pulls out his phone and punches in the number, saving the contact under Iruka and pausing after that. 

Wai, what the  _ hell _ was he supposed to say, anyway?

He paces for a bit, sits down, stands up, paces some more, becomes so distracted he accidentally steps on Bisuke’s paw, apologizes profusely, gives belly rubs to make up for his mistake, remembers the task at hand and then starts pacing again. 

It takes him a while to get there, but eventually Kakashi types out a quick  _ Thanks for the cookies -k  _ and hits send. Not the most eloquent of messages, but it was the best he got. 

Now it was back to pacing again, though this time Kakashi was anxious for the other man’s response. 

He  _ likes _ Iruka, and hopes to god he isn’t too awkward in the coming conversation to ruin his chances of ever getting close to the other man. 

Despite his nerves, Kakashi feels a thrill of excitement go up his spine when his phone buzzes a minute later. 

 

**from: iruka**

_ hey! no problem! what’d you think? _

 

**from: kakashi**

_ you should become a baker for a living _

 

_ they’re really good _

 

**from: iruka**

_ haha thank you!! i’m glad you enjoyed it i wasn’t sure if i made them right _

 

_ naruto liked them but i don’t exactly trust that kid’s judgement when it comes to food _

 

**from: kakashi**

_ was that the kid with you earlier? _

 

**from: iruka**

_ oh yeah sorry i didn’t introduce you two. he’s a student of mine from a couple years ago _

 

_ he’s a good kid but needs better manners as you’ve probably noticed. sorry about that btw _

 

**from: kakashi**

_ nah it’s fine lol. i’ve gotten worse comments on my appearance than a 12 year old calling me uncool _

 

—

 

Kakashi was at band practice the next week, the three of them taking a quick break from practice to chill out in Tenzou’s living room. Kakashi had brought Bisuke with him and was sprawled out in the armchair with the dog on his lap,  absolutely sitting the wrong way , while Tenzou idly surfed the TV channels . His feet were up and resting on Gai’s lap as the other man recounted a story of something that’d happened at work the other day. 

Gai was a teacher at a mixed martial arts school downtown and was constantly trying to get Kakashi to apply for a job there. Despite Gai being older than him by a year or two, the both of them were pretty evenly matched when they sparred, and Gai never let him forget it. 

That is, unfortunately, yet another reason why he calls Kakashi his “Esteemed Rival” and all that. 

Gai was halfway into an animated retelling of a situation between two of his students, Rock Lee and Neji Hyūga, when Kakashi’s phone buzzes loudly on the coffee table. 

Everyone goes completely still for about five seconds as they all process this. Kakashi deeply regrets leaving his phone out in the open. The only texts he’d ever received before about a week ago were exclusively from the two people sitting in the room with him currently. Three things happen at the same time :

  1. Tenzou’s head snaps up to stare at Kakashi in stunned confusion before he abruptly asks “Who’s texting you?”
  2. Gai, eyebrows raising in surprise, snatches Kakashi’s phone off the coffee table
  3. Kakashi falls off the armchair in a desperate attempt to grab his phone before Gai could, taking a yelping Bisuke down with him.



The noise Kakashi makes upon hitting the floor is embarrassing, but not nearly as embarrassing as Gai looking up from the screen of his phone and asking, a sly look in eye, who Iruka was.

“No one.” Kakashi snaps immediately, already defensive. “Give me my phone back.”

“It’s obviously not no one,” Tenzou points out. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be on the floor right now.”

“Give me my phone back.” Kakashi ignores Tenzou and pushes Bisuke off his lap, sitting up in order to lunge at Gai, who easily maneuvers out of the way, eyes focusing back on Kakashi’s phone screen. 

“If He’s No One, Kakashi,” Gai fixes Kakashi with a  _ look _ . “Then Why is he Inviting you To A Most Casual Dinner at His Apartment?”

Kakashi freezes at that. 

“He’s what?” he blurts out, caught completely by surprise at that. 

“‘I made too much food tonight, Naruto and I can’t eat it all. IDK if you’ve eaten yet but there’s a plate for you here if you want it.’” Gai reads out loud and Kakashi feels his face heat up at the looks both his friends are giving him after that and he shrugs noncommittally. 

“So what?” He snaps, crossing his arms. “He’s just a nice guy. It doesn’t mean anything.”

Bisuke licks the side of his face and gives Kakashi a  _ look _ .

“Do you want it to?” Tenzou asks carefully, after a pause. 

Kakashi stares resolutely at the floor and doesn’t answer. 

Gai sighs loudly and hands Kakashi his phone back. 

“Your Silence is More of An Answer than You Wish it to Be, Dear Rival.” he says firmly, sounding exasperated.

“Yeah, and?” Kakashi snaps. “What does it matter if I want it to be more? That’s not going to change anything when it comes down to it. He’ll still be kind, and handsome, and caring, and I’ll just be-” His frown deepens. “I’ll just be  _ me _ .”

He takes a deep breath and clenches his eyes shut for two seconds. He hadn’t wanted to reveal that much. He usually had better self control than that but there’s something about Iruka that makes him slip up. 

Kakashi sighs and rubs at his face over the mask before standing up. 

“Kakashi-“ Tenzou starts, cutting off when Gai rests a hand on the other man’s shoulder. 

“Let it go.”

Both Kakashi and Tenzou look at the man in surprise. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Gai has a wicked grin on his face, and Kakashi suddenly feels like he missed something big. “Our dear Kakashi has somewhere  _ much _ more important to be, anyway.”

Tenzou lets out a snort and something clicks in Kakashi’s head a second later. 

“You  _ fucking- _ “ 

He cuts himself off, unlocking his phone quickly and opening the messages app, swearing as soon as he sees his most recent message. 

 

**from: kakashi**

_ YES I WOULD LOVE DINNER! THANK YOU IRUKA! I WILL BE HOME SOON! _

 

“Oh,  _ fuck _ you-“

Gai laughs out loud at Kakashi’s reaction, ignoring the death glare he’s sent in favor of slapping his knee like an old man. 

Kakashi swears again when the phone in his hands alerts him to a new message. 

 

**from: iruka**

….. _ is everything alright???  _

 

Kakashi flushes bright red under his mask and smacks Gai hard on the back of his head. 

 

**from: kakashi**

_ fuck sorry my friend stole my phone and texted you that  _

 

**from: iruka**

_ haha okay that makes sense _

 

_ no pressure cause idk if your friend answered yes against ur will but do you still want to come? _

 

_ it’s okay if you don’t wanna, i know you’re probably busy _

 

Kakashi slaps Gai away so he can’t look over his shoulder anymore and frowns. Something about Iruka’s last message seemed really...sad. Like he expected Kakashi to say no. 

 

**from: kakashi**

_ i’m not busy enough to miss free food and hanging out w u _

 

_ i’ll be there _

 

He looks up at Gai and Tenzou, who raise their eyebrows at him, not saying anything, and then at Bisuke, who thumps his tail loudly against the floor.

“Do you mind if I….?” Kakashi mumbles out, embarrassed, looking away. 

“Good _ Lord _ , Kakashi,” Tenzou’s eyes all but roll out of his head. “Of  _ course _ you can leave. We were probably just gonna eat and play mario kart anyway.”

Gai gives him an unapologetic smile and a thumbs up. 

“Ah, to be Young and In Love!” he yells dramatically, causing Kakashi to choke loudly and turn an even brighter shade of red. 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he grumbles, turning away to pack up his guitar. “I barely know the guy. And you’re like... _ two _ years older than me, what’s all this crap about me being ‘young’?” 

“We may be Physically Close in Age, My Esteemed Rival, but You are Younger in Affairs of the Heart!”  

Kakashi shoots his friend a vicious glare as he slips on his shoes.

“What does that even  _ mean _ -”

“It means you should get your ass in gear before this Iruka guy lets your food get cold.” Tenzou says wearily, quickly shooing Kakashi out the front door before he can get another word in, Bisuke trotting happily at his heels. “Have fun, ‘Kashi. You need it.”

And with that, Tenzou closes the door in his face. Kakashi would be offended by their quick removal of him if he hadn’t also known that they’d been pretty worried about him lately. He hadn’t shown interest in another person for a  _ very _ long time.

Gai and Tenzou were the only two people he’d let into his life: Tenzou only because he had gone through his own shit and knew when to leave well enough alone, and Gai was…well,  _ Gai.  _ He'd just shown up one day and never left. 

Kakashi thinks back to the night on the deck, thinks back to how Iruka had sounded when he told him  _ if you need anything, i’m here _ . 

To him, Kakashi was a drunk stranger that had kept him from sleeping by playing guitar a couple weeks earlier- they weren’t friends. That had only been their second real conversation.

But Iruka had sounded so  _ sincere _ , like he actually wanted Kakashi to know that he would be willing to help if needed, which was utterly baffling. 

“I hope I don’t fuck this up,” he tells Bisuke nervously. “I don’t want him to hate me.”

The dog gives him an exasperated look before setting off down the street in the direction of their and Iruka’s apartment building.

Kakashi laughs, shaking his head, and starts walking.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended up splitting the fic into a couple parts cause it's pretty long to post all at once? i'm literally losing my mind  
> anyway, this is part one. i hope you enjoyed it!  
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated, please lmk what you think!  
> part 2 should be up sometime in the next week or so, depending on how busy my schedule is. We'll see  
> you can follow me on twitter @basilwizard for updates and various naruto tweets  
> thanks for reading!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's part two!

Iruka had nervously rearranged the kitchen five times in the last 30 minutes, waiting for Kakashi to arrive. His body was filled with a buzzing, nervous energy as he paced from one room of his apartment to another.

“What if he’s not coming?” Iruka blurts out, finally cracking under his own pressure.

Naruto looks up at him, unimpressed, from the couch.

“He’s coming.” The kid sounds sure of himself, even as he turns his eyes back to his Fortnite game. “But on the small chance he’s not, I’ll kick him in the face for standing you up, teach.”

“It’s been too long since he last texted-”

“He’s coming.” Naruto repeats, firm, cutting Iruka off from protesting. The older man huffs and slumps onto the couch next to his ex-student.

It only takes five minutes before Iruka cracks again, but before he can get any words out, a light knock sounds at the door.

“I told you!” Naruto yells loudly, ignoring the glare Iruka sends him and sticking out his tongue in response.

The insecurity Iruka had felt at the idea of Kakashi not showing up was instantly gone, unlike the nervousness that he now feels throughout his whole body. Despite the sensation that his fingers were about to fall off, Iruka gets his ass off the couch and over the door in record time. He takes a second to steel himself, before pulling the door open to reveal Kakashi and…..a dog?

“Hey.” the other man raises his hand in greeting.

“Hey.” Iruka echoed, dog immediately forgotten as he takes in the sight before him.

Kakashi looked good, of course- his long legs more prominent in ripped skinny jeans, his tank-top revealing muscled biceps- but that wasn’t what made Iruka stop.

Kakashi’s eyepatch was loose around his neck rather than across his head. His left eye, which had been previously hidden, was now exposed. It bisected by a vertical scar that split Kakashi’s grey eyebrow in half and traveled downwards to where it disappears under his mask. The scar drew Iruka’s gaze directly to the other man’s iris, which was a traumatic deep crimson.

Iruka didn’t realize how long he’d been staring until Kakashi coughed awkwardly and looked away, hand coming up to try and pull on the eyepatch back on self-consciously. Iruka moves before he can stop himself, gently grabbing Kakashi’s wrist. They stand like that for a second before Iruka drops his hold and steps back, flushing red.

“You don’t have to cover your eye up if you don’t want to,” he mumbles, embarrassed at his own actions. “I shouldn’t have stared, that was rude of me.”

Kakashi looks taken aback for a second before he waves his hand dismissively, a little bit of pink showing above the mask.

“Maa, it’s fine. People stare all the time.”  
“Still.” Iruka shrugs, before changing the subject and stepping back from the doorway to allow room for Kakashi to pass through. “Come on in! I have food for you. It’s under plastic so it should still be warm, but I can heat it up if you want.”

Kakashi nods gratefully and toes his shoes off by the door, carefully placing them to the side before moving farther into Iruka’s apartment, the dog following closely at his heels.

Neither of them get a word out before Naruto bursts in from the living room, yelling loudly.

“CAN I PET YOUR DOG?!!?!”

Both Kakashi and the dog freeze up at the sudden loud noise.

“Oh,” Kakashi says, slowly regaining his composure. “Sure.”

He clicks his tongue once and the dog sits obediently.

Naruto approaches carefully, eyes focused intently on the dog, who watches the young boy with interest.

“Put your hand out in a loose fist,” Kakashi instructs softly. “Let him smell you.”

The dog sniffs at Naruto’s fist as the boy follows directions carefully, eyes filling with wonder as, after a brief second, the dog nuzzles his hand.

Naruto lights up like a beacon and falls to his knees, rubbing and petting the dog, who wags his tail excitedly at the sudden attention.

“What’s his name?”

“Bisuke.” Kakashi nods, glancing at Iruka and shooting him an apologetic look and rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “In retrospect, I should have asked before bringing him over...”

“It’s no problem,” Iruka smiles lightly, watching Naruto get slobbered on and laugh loudly. “Naruto’s obviously fine, and I don’t mind, so don’t worry about it.”

Kakashi looks relieved, shoulders relaxing a little at the reassurance. They both watch the two interact for a second before Naruto stiffens and the two of them run out of the room, the kid probably remembering that he hadn’t saved his game yet, Iruka explains.

“C’mon,” the other man chuckles, gesturing Kakashi over to the kitchen table. “It’s dinner time.”

Instead of following like Iruka had intended, Kakashi freezes in place instead, eyes wide.

“Were you... _waiting_ for me?” He asks, voice confused and disbelieving.

“Well...yeah.” Iruka frowns slightly, pulling out a chair to sit in. “Is that a problem?”

Kakashi seems to shake himself from whatever stupor he’d put himself into and Iruka sees what little of his cheeks that were visible turn red.

“No- Not at all,” Kakashi murmurs, voice echoing his surprise. “I just...wasn’t expecting it.”

“It would have been rude to start without you, Kakashi,” Iruka raises an eyebrow at the other man before sitting down as well. “I did invite you over, after all.”

He shrugs, waving one hand dismissively as he follows Iruka to the table and takes his own seat.  
“Maa, you’ll have to forgive me for forgetting my manners, teach. I haven’t been invited to dinner in-” Kakashi stops, as if he just realized what he was saying, and looks down at his hands, frowning. “....In a long time.”

Before Iruka is able to even process the sadness of Kakashi’s statement, Naruto and Bisuke burst into the kitchen laughing and barking up a storm.

Kakashi straightens up immediately, turning to look at the newcomers with a smile.

“Come to join us?” He asks lightly, eyes crinkling with a hidden smile.

Iruka frowns at the sudden change in conversation, but realizes it’s something Kakashi wasn’t comfortable sharing yet and instead focuses on admonishing Naruto for sticking his tongue out at the other man.

Conversation continues easily after that, Iruka and Naruto both focusing on weeding out bits of Kakashi’s mysterious life in between stories of their own.

Kakashi works at an animal shelter, apparently, and had somehow managed to adopt eight dogs without realizing. In order to remedy this, the Inuzuka family, the ones who run the shelter, decided to let Kakashi keep the dogs if he let them stay at their farm and took only a couple of them home at a time- since eight dogs in one small apartment was rather unhealthy. Bisuke was one of these dogs, which explained why Iruka had never seen him before, along with the brown pug from the night on the balcony a couple weeks ago.

Kakashi also revealed that he gave guitar lessons, but only had one student- a kid named Sasuke Uchiha.

Upon realizing that it was the same Sasuke that was one of his classmates, Naruto launched into a series of questions about the other kid’s skills in guitar playing. Kakashi thought about his answer for a couple seconds before replying that Sasuke was pretty bad at it, but that he was also determined and was getting better.

Naruto gets a pensive look on his face and doesn’t talk again for awhile.

In turn, Iruka talks about his job as an elementary school teacher, and Kakashi commends him on his ability to work with small children for more than five minutes.

Eventually Iruka and Kakashi end up on the the couch, Naruto passed out snoring in between them, his head pressed against Iruka’s shoulder, feet on Kakashi’s lap and his arms wrapped around an equally asleep Bisuke.

Neither Kakashi nor Iruka had the heart to move them, so they continue their conversation, just in softer tones.

There’s a minute of comfortable silence before Kakashi speaks up, cheeks coloring a light pink.

“We’re playing at a club in about a week,” He comments, feigning nonchalance, despite his nervous, rigid shoulders. “If you uh...want to come see us do the band thing.”

 _If you want to see me_.

Iruka blinks in surprise, caught off guard by the earnestness is Kakashi’s eyes. His one red eye hadn’t gotten any less breathtaking and now that it’s full force was turned on him, Iruka knew it would’ve been impossible to say no, even if he’d wanted too.

“Of course.” He grins, Kakashi relaxing at Iruka’s answer.

“I’ll text you the details when I get ‘em.” Kakashi nods, looking pleased as punch.

They smile stupidly at each other for a couple seconds before Iruka gets a hold of himself.

“Tell me about your band,” he asks, letting his curiosity get the better of him. “I wanna know more about it before I show up.”

Kakashi hums, thinking for a second before he replies.

“Well, the band’s name is Pathos- you can look us up if you want- and it’s just me and two friends. I do the singing and the guitar stuff, Tenzou’s on bass, and Gai’s our drummer. Gai’s the one that stole my phone earlier and texted you.”

Iruka laughs.

“Does he always text in capslock?”

“He lives his _life_ in capslock.” Kakashi snorts, shaking his head in exasperation.

They both laugh at that, causing Naruto to shift in his sleep. Iruka smiles fondly at the sleeping boy.

“I hope this isn’t too intrusive,” Kakashi speaks quietly, looking at Naruto with a strange, sad look on his face. “But what is an ex-student of yours doing asleep on your couch?”

“Ah,” Iruka laughs lightly. “It’s quite the story…”

“I’d like to hear it,” Kakashi turns that look onto Iruka, who finds himself pinned in place by the weight of it. “If you don’t mind.”

“Um, well,” Iruka swallows, looking away. “He was...one of my worst students, if I’m being honest- at least at first. He was a troublemaker, always doing some sort of prank or practical joke to get attention. I thought he was just a bad kid for the longest time, but then...someone I had been close to cornered me in my classroom after school. No one was supposed to be around, so he thought…” Iruka trails off, voice thick. He hated thinking about Mizuki, hated bring him up, but something in Kakashi’s gaze made him want to tell him everything. “Well, Naruto bursts into the room and immediately goes for this guys throat, shouting about protecting his teacher and whatnot, giving me the opportunity to knock the guy unconscious and call the police. After everything is sorted through, I take him out to ramen and we get to talking. Turns out he’s a lot more like me than I thought.”

Iruka laughs lightly, turning his eyes back to the sleeping blonde boy.

“We both loved ramen, had been or still were troublemakers, and both of our parents had died in the Kyuubi massacre.”

Iruka feels Kakashi shift on the couch next to him and glances over, curious. The look on the other man’s face was pinched in a way Iruka wasn’t quite sure how to interpret.

“Why do you ask?” he presses after a second of silence, curiosity getting the better of him.

Kakashi visibly pulls himself out of his own thoughts, taking a second to think before he answers, voice quieter than it was a minute ago.  

“I knew his parents, I think.”

Iruka feels a little like someone just knocked the wind out of him, so he couldn’t really blame himself for staring, wide eyed, at Kakashi for a solid minute.

“What?” He asks after he gets a hold of himself, sounding a little strangled and a lot surprised.

“Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki. Those are his parents’ names, right?” Kakashi doesn’t look at Iruka, his eyes tracing Naruto’s sleeping features carefully instead. Iruka could tell that Kakashi had not asked to prove a point, but to get true confirmation of who the boy’s parents were.

“Yeah,” Iruka replies slowly. “How do you know this?”

Kakashi lets out a breath and leans against the back of the couch, looking like Iruka had given him both the greatest and the worst possible news in the world at the same time.

“My mom died in childbirth,” Kakashi starts slowly, haltingly, as if he wasn’t used to speaking about his past. “My dad killed himself when I was eight. Minato and Kushina ran the orphanage I was sent too.”

Iruka stares at him, feeling, once again, like someone had punched him in the stomach.

“They were the closest thing I’ve ever had to parental figures. I was in that orphanage until I was eighteen, and then I moved out, though I still swung by every weekend and helped out where I could. Kushina gave birth about a month before the murders started happening in their area. I visited the weekend before everything went down. Next time I saw them, the Kyuubi serial killer and Minato had fought and all three of them were in a morgue. I thought the fucker had killed their son as well, so I never asked. I should’ve.” Kakashi shrugs, voice thick. “By the time I realized this, it was too late, and whatever records of Naruto Uzumaki that existed had been buried in the government’s attempt to downplay the massacre.”

Iruka nods, taking in Kakashi’s story slowly.

“Neither of us know anything about his parents,” He starts after a minute, carefully choosing his words, desperately wanting ( _needing_ ) Kakashi to stop looking so horribly sad. “Google told us they ran an orphanage, but that was the extent of it. We only got that information from their obituaries, but those were so unbelievably bare they didn’t even have _pictures_. I don’t think Naruto even knows what his parents look like.”

Kakashi looks at him then, something hurt and aching in his gaze, but Iruka continues without stopping.

“He talks about it, sometimes. Says he wishes he knew more about them. Makes _me_ wish I’d known more, just so I could wipe the pain from his expression. There was just so much of an unknown in that department that there’s nothing we could’ve done to figure out more.” He looks at Kakashi seriously now. “But now, there’s you.” Iruka laughs a little, wondering at his own luck, to have moved in next door to someone who could potentially help Naruto in this way. “And you...you lived with them! For _years_! You must have so many stories you can tell him about his parents-”

“I don’t-”

Iruka cuts him off by fixing a sharp look on Kakashi, who wilts a little under the intensity of it.

“You don’t have to share everything, Kakashi,” he says seriously. “And I’m not going to force you if you refuse. But Naruto deserves to know more about his parents, don’t you think?”

The other man shifts on the couch and sighs, glancing back down at Naruto as the boy murmurs something about ramen in his sleep.

“Okay.” Kakashi nods after a minute of what Iruka could only guess was furious internal debate. “I...I can try and help. Just not...right now.”

Iruka relaxes into the couch and smiles, relieved.

“That’s fine- You can take your time, it probably wouldn’t be great to just drop this on Naruto anyway.”

They’re both silent for a bit, each mulling over their conversation, when Iruka speaks up again, turning to look at Kakashi with an intense look.

“Thank you.”

Kakashi looks surprised but nods shakily in return.

“No, really,” Iruka grabs the other man’s hand and grips it tightly, trying to convey all that it was he was feeling. “You’re doing us a huge favor by talking. I know you’re grieving them still, I can see that you’re hurting, and I understand that this is going to be hard- Trust me, I understand. I can’t express how much this means to me, how much this will mean to _Naruto_. So thank you, seriously.”

Kakashi stares back at him, wide eyed, and nods again, looking more determined than he had ten seconds previously.  

Eventually, their conversation moves away from the topic, and soon it’s much later than either of them intended, the night feeling both like it stretched on forever and like it was over in the blink of an eye.

Kakashi stands in the doorway, slipping on his shoes, and Iruka is briefly overcome by his heart’s wants, so he snags the other man’s wrist when he reaches for the door. Kakashi looks at him but Iruka is resolutely studying the floor, a furious blush darkening his features.

“I always make too much food when Naruto comes over,” he murmurs, embarrassed. “You’re welcome to join us, if you wanted.”

Kakashi stares at him, an emotion in the weight of his gaze that Iruka couldn’t place without seeing, but he certainly wasn’t about to look up from the floor to find out what it was.

The thin wrist in his hand slips gently out of his grip and Iruka feels his heart clench in his chest.

 _What was he thinking?_ They’d only known each other for a month and a half now, it’s not like Kakashi had any obligation to him. Sure they’d texted every day since he’d given him cookies, and, sure, Kakashi had come from band practice early today in order to eat dinner with them. But that didn’t necessarily mean Kakashi _wanted_ to hang out more.

His spiraling train of thought was roughly interrupted by Kakashi putting a hand on his shoulder and finally speaking.

“I’d like that,” he says, quietly, even as he opens Iruka’s front door and lets himself out into the hallway. “This was really nice.”

Iruka looks up instinctively and gapes a little at the other man before catching up to the present moment and smiling widely.

Kakashi smiles back just as big, obvious even behind the mask with both eyes exposed, and Iruka has to physically stop himself from moving forward and kissing the other man senseless.

He doesn’t. But _god_ does he want too.

They bid their goodbyes and Iruka shuts the door behind him. He’s suddenly very alone in his apartment, having already tucked Naruto into the guest bed and texted Tsunade that her adopted son was safe.

 _Ah,_ he thinks to himself in the silence of his front hallway _. I might have it worse than I thought_.

 

\--

 

It’s a couple days later when Kakashi texts Iruka about the concert he’d mentioned on the couch after their dinner.

 

**from: kakashi**

_hey here’s tickets to the concert tomorrow_  

_[Link: Pathos at the Konoha Concert Hall]_

_hope to see u there?_

 

Iruka nearly laughs at Kakashi’s hesitance. It was on a friday night, after school, and Kakashi was going to be singing and playing guitar in a concert. Of _course_ he was going to be there.

 

**from: iruka**

_wouldn’t miss it for the world_

 

**from: kakashi**

_hah. awesome_

_dunno if this is weird but my bandmates wanna meet you. i can send a backstage pass if that’s fine too?_

 

**from: iruka**

_yeah sure! but why do they wanna meet me??_

 

Kakashi doesn’t reply immediately, but his answer nearly knocks Iruka over when he eventually does.

 

**from: kakashi**

_ahh yeah i kinda talk about you a lot lol_

_they’re curious i guess_

_[Link: Backstage passes for Pathos]_

 

Iruka was surprised, though he knew he shouldn’t be.

Kakashi mentioned Gai and Tenzou a lot, often recounting ridiculous things the three of them got up too whenever they were together, so, logically, it made sense that Kakashi would talk about Iruka to the other two. And he could admit that he was curious about what Kakashi’s friends were like in person, too, so it was only natural that they would be curious about him in return.

Still, it had caught him off guard, Kakashi admitting he talked about Iruka to his closest friends. He’d said: _I talk about you_ . _A lot._

Iruka feels unbelievably light for the rest of the day.

 

\--

 

Kakashi paces in Tenzou’s apartment all of Friday afternoon. Ūhei watches him nervously from her position next to the bassist on the couch.

“Stop doing that,” his friend calls after two hours of his fidgeting. “You’re making me anxious just being in the same room as you.”

Kakashi sits down hard on the floor and taps out gibberish in morse code on his left knee.

“What’s up, anyway? You’re never this antsy before a concert.”

Kakashi makes a face under his mask and glances at his phone. 30 minutes until Iruka is done with the school day. 5 hours until the concert tonight.

“I may have...invited Iruka to the concert.” He mumbles, tapping his fingers a little faster. “And given him a backstage pass.”

Tenzou raises an eyebrow at him and snorts.

“You’re _nervous._ ” he nearly laughs at the realization, no question in his statement but Kakashi feels the need to defend himself anyway.

“I’m not nervous-” he snaps, glaring at his friend with no real heat. “I’m just…”

He can’t think of a good excuse and Tenzou knows it.

“Okay, I’m _nervous_.” he grumbles, looking away sullenly. Ūhei stands and trots over, bumping her head gently into his upper arm in an effort to get him to pet her. It works, of course, ‘cause he’s first and foremost an absolute sucker for his dogs. “I can’t help it.”

Tenzou hums and studies him carefully, amused.

“You really like him, don’t you?”

Kakashi nearly snorts. It’s not a question, not really, but he answers anyway.

“Yeah,” he pinches the bridge of his nose with one hand and scratches behind Ūhei’s ear with the other, repeating himself, softer this time around. “Yeah.”

Tenzou just smiles and boots up the TV, throws Kakashi a gamecube controller, and pats the couch next to him.

They pass time playing video games in semi-silence, the tension slowly leaking out of Kakashi’s shoulders as the time goes on.

 _Fuck_ , he loves his friends. Tenzou knew him so well, knew how to pull him together, knew how to calm him down when he was stressed. He doesn’t know what he did in his past life to deserve such a good friend, but he’s grateful for the man anyway.

“Thanks.” he says quietly after a while.

Tenzou just smiles.

Before Kakashi even realizes how much time had passed, Gai nearly breaks the door down, signaling that it’s time to get ready to leave, and he’s thankful he was smart enough to bring his concert attire over in a backpack.

They enter the concert venue two hours before concert time, carefully skirting around back so they miss the already formed line extending out from the front door.

A man gives them a brief tour and leaves them alone in the green room to do whatever until 8pm.

Kakashi tunes his guitar and noodles quietly from where he perched himself on the back of the couch. Tenzou breaks the quiet easily, a sly smile on his face when he glances at Kakashi and then turns to Gai.

“So,” he starts, suspiciously casual. “Kakashi invited Iruka tonight. Backstage pass, too.”

Gai, upon hearing this, leaps to his feet. Kakashi makes a face under his mask, regretting everything.

“It’s not a big deal-” He manages to get out before Gai interrupts him loudly.

“Quite the Contrary, Kakashi!” he yells, striking a ridiculous pose. “This is the Biggest of Deals! You have Invited Your Beloved to our Concert and Have Given Us the Opportunity to Meet Him! You are Taking Steps That you have Not Taken with Anyone Else Before!”

Kakashi cringes as Gai grabs and crushes him in a big bear hug.

“Yeah, but-” He manages to choke out before getting interrupted once again.

“No, Buts, Dear Rival! You have Never Brought Someone Special to a Concert Before, Much Less Given them Backstage Passes! This is Truly Lovely!”

“Okay, _okay_ ,” Kakashi finally snaps, wiggling out of the man’s tight grip and pushing Gai away from him. “Yes, okay, it’s a big deal and, yes, I know I haven’t done this before. It’s just- I really like him, alright?”

The room is quiet for a second as the other two process Kakashi’s confession.

“I just,” he’s blushing, dammit. “I want this to be a good night. I want him to meet you guys and I want to know if you approve of him because you guys mean a lot to me and your opinion matters.” He shakes his head, resolutely not meeting anyone eyes as words continue to tumble out of his mouth. “And I want him to like you guys, cause he means a lot to me as well.”

In the quiet that follows his statement, Gai speaks up first, for once not yelling (though still loud), and places a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“I’m Sure we’ll Approve of Him, Kakashi, if what You’ve Told Us is True. How could We Not? You Are in the Throes of Youthful Passion because of Him!” He grins widely, ignoring Kakashi’s strangled noise at his words.

“After all,” Tenzou picks up the end of Gai’s sentence and continues. “ _You_ mean a lot to _us_ , and your opinion matters too.”

Kakashi finally relaxes at that, his shoulders sagging in relief and he nods once, grateful for (most of) their words.

They spend the next 20 minutes in their own heads, Kakashi continuing to play quietly as Tenzou tunes his bass and Gai taps out beats on the arm of a chair he’s sitting in.

It’s a testament to how much he’s been texting Iruka these past few weeks that neither Tenzou nor Gai give Kakashi a second look when his phone buzzes loudly.

 

**from: iruka**

_hey i’m here! do u want me to come back stage now or after the concert?_

 

Kakashi glances at his friends before replying.

 

**from: kakashi**

_up to u_

_tho we’ll be pretty gross afterwards so it’s not a bad idea to come now_

 

**from: iruka**

_i’ll come now so i can get the best impression of them haha_

_i’m standing near the bar!_

 

Kakashi sets his guitar down and stands, drawing his friends attention.

“I’m bringing Iruka in now,” he shoves his hands in his pockets and slouches, trying to hide how much his stomach twists nervously at his own words. He fixes the two of them with a sharp look before heading for the door. “Please be civil.”

Gai laughs way too loudly at that and Kakashi grimaces as he hears them start talking as soon as he’s closed the door behind him. He figures it’s probably better he doesn’t know what they’re discussing.

The hallway winds around the venue for a bit before he’s deposited out near the left of the stage. Quickly and quietly, Kakashi sneaks around the crowded floor, sticking to the shadows. As much as he enjoyed talking to fans, he had a more important person to attend too, and all delays in him getting to Iruka were carefully avoided.

He makes it to the bar without a hitch.

Iruka stands towards the end of the bar, jacket tucked under his arm, looking at his phone with a funny look on his face.

Kakashi takes a moment to be unrepentantly gay and takes in Iruka’s good looks.

The man had dressed in straight cut jeans, a black t-shirt carefully tucked into the waistband. His hair was pulled back into his signature tight ponytail, his scar as unhidden and obvious and cute as ever. He looked good, but that was a given at this point. Kakashi watches his nose crinkle as Iruka checks his phone for the third time and realizes that he’d probably left him waiting a little too long.

He steps out of the shadows and makes his presence known to the other man, smiling widely when Iruka notices him.

He _feels_ the weight of Iruka’s gaze rake up and down his body, and knows he looks good; he had specifically taken extra care with his outfit and makeup today, and relishes in the dark blush that colors Iruka’s cheeks when Kakashi waves.

“Hey.” he intones, grinning under his mask.

“Hi.” Iruka sounds a little strained, visibly pulling himself away from blatantly staring. “There’s a lot of people here.”

Kakashi shrugs, still smiling lightly.

“I told you, we’re kinda popular. Why wouldn’t we be?” his grin turns into a playful smirk as he quotes Iruka back at him. “After all, what fans could resist a pretty boy guitarist that can sing.”

Iruka gives him a funny look, smiling bemusedly.

“I thought you were drunk for that conversation.”

Kakashi laughs lightly, shaking his head.

“I was. The only part I remember super clearly is you calling me pretty.”

Iruka flushes at that and scratches his scar in embarrassment. _Fuck, he’s so cute_. Kakashi straightens up, feeling the weight of several pairs of eyes on him. He had a very small window of opportunity on getting out of this room without being mobbed by fans and it was quickly closing.

“We should get out of here before more people recognize me.” Kakashi says quietly, extending his hand to the other man. “Come with me.”

Iruka laughs and takes Kakashi’s hand, letting the other man practically drag him back the way he’d come. Sooner than Kakashi had hoped, they stood outside the greenroom door. He stops them just before entering and takes a deep breath before turning to reassure Iruka.

As soon as he got a look of the other man’s face, he could’ve smacked himself. Iruka didn’t _need_ reassurance. Sure he looked nervous, but he had an expression of determination, too. Shame on Kakashi for thinking Iruka would balk at something like this when he wrangled _elementary schoolers_ into line every school day.

Kakashi almost kisses him then, because Iruka is unbelievably cute, and Kakashi is unbelievably into him.

But he doesn’t, ‘cause kissing Iruka and then immediately shoving him into a room with Kakashi’s two best friends would just be plain cruel.

Instead he gives Iruka’s hand a quick squeeze and opens the door.

 

\--

 

Iruka is standing near the back of the crowd when 8:30 hits and the concert hall’s lights go down. He nurses his drink carefully and tries to breathe, letting his heart slow down from it’s breakneck pace in his chest.

When Kakashi had first approached him, Iruka had, admittedly, froze up. But, really, could he truly be faulted for that? Kakashi was attractive in sweatpants and a too big t-shirt, for god’s sake- him in anything more than that knocked the wind out of Iruka’s chest. Tonight was no exception. Kakashi was stunningly beautiful and it had taken Iruka much longer than his dignity liked for him to get his jaw off the floor.

And then he’d gotten to meet the famed best friends Gai and Tenzou, which had been nerve wracking in its own right

The two of them had been...interesting, to say the least. Iruka had first become aware of Gai, as the man had instantly jumped to attention, was wearing all green clothes, and somehow managed to speak in only capital letters. He almost hadn’t noticed Tenzou until he’d been pinned in place by a rather intense stare. After a couple seconds, he’d been released from the gaze and Tenzou had extended a hand for Iruka to shake.

Iruka admits he felt a little like Tenzou had just scanned his entire soul with that one look, and was glad that whatever the man had seen in there was good enough to shake over.

Kakashi stood off to the side and looked incredibly nervous, eyes darting quickly between the three of them as they talked, which was adorable. As soon as Iruka and Tenzou shook hands, and Gai had clapped him on the shoulder, all the tension had drained out of Kakashi and he pretty much collapsed into the couch in visible relief.

It was almost weird how quickly everything seemed to fall into place after that.

They only had enough time to talk for 20-ish minutes before the stage manager popped in to let the band know it was time to start.

Gai gets Iruka to agree to drinks sometime before heading out with his drumsticks in one hand, Tenzou’s left arm in his other as he drags the bassist out of the room.

Kakashi had looked at him then, something unnamable in his expression, and smiled.

“Thanks for coming,” he’d said, sliding his guitar strap over his shoulders. “I hope Pathos doesn’t disappoint.”

Iruka had smiled and shook his head, his reply falling easily out of his mouth before he even thinks about it.

“You won’t.”

And now he was here, at the back of the restless crowd that was _much_ bigger than he’d expected, the lights down, realizing that he’d actually, definitely forgotten to listen to Pathos’ music before this moment, and trying desperately not to freak out. It was going to be fine.

Gai steps out onto stage to cheers.

Probably.

Tenzou takes his place on the right of the stage, bass shining brightly under the spotlights and adjusts the microphone. Someone from the crowd calls out their affections for the bassist and even from all the way back here, Iruka can see the man blush.

The whole venue catches its breath as Kakashi appears center stage, his guitar slung low on his hips, typical blue mask replaced by a dark red one that brings out his makeup and makes his silver hair look bright white. His upper arms were exposed by his plain tank-top and Iruka watches as people in the crowd scream and cheer and take pictures.

He’s overwhelmed immediately, but Kakashi looks completely at ease, comfortable up on the stage as he starts talking to the crowd.

Kakashi had always had a nice voice, but something about hearing him through giant speakers at a concert thrilled Iruka in ways he couldn’t truly explain.

He talks for a minute or two, riling the crowd up, before stepping back and adjusting his grip on his guitar.

“Okay, okay,” he rumbles over the speakers, visibly grinning under his mask. “Let’s start this concert off right!”

With that, he pulls away from the microphone, straightening up as Gai starts up a beat on his drum set. He sways to the beat, eyes closed briefly as Tenzou joins in. They snap open suddenly and then he’s playing, the sounds reverberating through the venue floor.

Something’s familiar in the guitar and it takes Iruka a second to place it.

 _Oh_ , his heart beats strangely in his chest. _He was playing this the first night we talked._

Kakashi scans the part of the crowd where Iruka had told him he was in and their eyes meet suddenly. A burst of electricity runs through Iruka’s nervous system at the intense look in Kakashi’s one visible eye and he smiles widely, brightly back.

When Kakashi starts to sing, Iruka may or may not have felt a little faint.

As it was, he felt cemented in place for a total of three seconds before his brain totally processes what was happening, because _oh my god he’s so good at singing what the fuck_ -

It wasn’t fair, if he was being honest. How Kakashi got to be so handsome and good at guitar, while also having a ridiculously amazing singing voice, Iruka would never know.

He nearly laughs out loud when Kakashi winks at him during a particularly suggestive line.

He _does_ laugh out loud when Tenzou gets hip bumped by his lead singer and fixes Kakashi with the deadliest glare Iruka had ever seen. Kakashi, however, just smiles and dances out of reach. The three of them had fun, it looked like, up on the stage, goofing around between songs and getting the crowd to laugh.

 _No wonder they’re popular_ , Iruka thinks, smiling to himself. _They work together so well, not only in person, but in their music as well. It’s incredible to watch_.

The rest of the concert passes way too quickly, Iruka allowing himself to get lost in the music, only really remembering that time exists when it’s announced that the next song would be the last one.

The crowd yells their complaints, not wanting the concert to end, and Iruka finds himself agreeing with them just a little, though he could clearly see the way Kakashi’s chest was heaving in exertion, the way all three of them were covered in sweat and had gone through two water bottles each, except Gai, who’d gone through five.

Hearing this, Kakashi laughs loudly and attempts to soothe the crowd, promising they would be back eventually for another concert and that everything, of course, has to come to an end eventually.

He somehow manages to get everyone to calm down enough for the band to start playing.

It becomes evident almost immediately that this was Pathos’ most popular song, and for good reason, too. It starts with Kakashi on guitar, a powerful melody that gets further boosted by the addition of Tenzou and Gai.

When Kakashi sings, there’s something new there, something so warm and lovely that it catches Iruka completely off guard. It doesn’t help that they make eye contact, all the air rushing out of his lungs at the look that gets sent his way.

He realizes, slowly, that Kakashi is singing to _him_ , and only him. His gaze barely moves from Iruka the entire song, the warmth in his voice multiplied tenfold by his expression. He’s smiling under his mask, and that fact alone nearly kills Iruka completely.

The song ends, the crowd erupting into near deafening cheers and applause as the band takes their bows and eventually exits the stage. The lights come up and Iruka feels tipsy (the bar was right there, after all) and _very_ warm, which he could only attribute somewhat to the beer he’d drunk.

He realizes he wants very badly to see Kakashi again. He flashes his backstage pass to the security guards and makes his way to the greenroom, taking a deep breath as he knocks.

The door swings opens after a second, Tenzou taking in Iruka’s flushed cheeks and empty beer cup with an amused look before letting him inside.

Gai looks up as he enters and yells a greeting, not even a little subdued after playing an entire concert.

“Hello, Iruka! If You are Looking for Kakashi, He Has Gone To get Us Some Water! You are Welcome to Wait Here Until He Returns!”

Iruka laughs and sits down on the couch gratefully. Standing in place for two hours straight was never fun, though he’d admittedly been distracted for most of it and hadn’t noticed how much his feet were hurting.

“You guys are amazing,” he smiles at the two of them, genuine in his compliment. “It looked like the three of you were having so much fun.”

“It’s mostly Kakashi,” Tenzou huffs out a laugh, Gai nodding in agreement. “I know I would never be up on stage if it wasn’t for him. He’s got enough presence to have a solo career, but he didn’t want that. Said he’d had enough of being by himself for three lifetimes.” He shrugs. “We went along with it, originally, because he was our friend and needed something to do with his life beside drinking and grieving.”

There’s a moment of silence before Tenzou continues, fixing Iruka with an intense look.

“He has a habit of bringing out the best in the people around him. Certainly brings out the best in us.” He glances at Gai, who nods in encouragement, and then back at Iruka. “He clearly makes you happy, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. I think you should know that you make him happy too, Iruka. You bring out the best in _him_.”

Unable to convince his body to move, Iruka just kinda sits there, staring back at Tenzou incredulously. _Was this real? Was this really happening right now?_ He fights the urge to pinch himself.

“However you decide to proceed from here,” Tenzou continues, quietly. “I hope you stick around a little longer.”

Gai nods emphatically.

“You Are A Good Man, Iruka,” He chimes in, much louder than Tenzou was, but just as sincere. “I Hope We Can Become Close Friends!”  
Iruka manages to nod shakily, a little overwhelmed by the whole situation, though a little spark ignites in his chest at their words.

“I will be here as long as he lets me.” he says after a second, voice quiet but determined, the spark growing bigger with his own convictions.

Tenzou seems relieved at his reply, while Gai’s ecstatic grin takes up most of his face.

They go back to chatting idly while packing their things up, Iruka mulling over their words from his position on the couch.

A couple minutes pass before the door swings open, a sweaty and out of breath Kakashi bursting into the room with an armful of water bottles.

“Hey,” he pants out, pushing his hair out of his face. Iruka idly notices his eyepatch is gone. “Sorry for the wait, some fans got backstage and I had to play a terrible version of Hide-and-Seek where if I got caught I would have to _talk_ to people-” He finally catches on to Iruka’s presence, cutting himself off mid-sentence in surprise. Iruka sends him a gentle smile, watching as tension visibly drains from Kakashi’s shoulders, the man eventually repeating his earlier greeting in a softer tone of voice. “Hey.”

“Hey, yourself.” Iruka laughs lightly, smiling wider.

Tenzou glances between the two of them and decides that now was a good a time as any for him and Gai to make their exit. He grabs onto one green sleeve and hoists his bass guitar case up onto his other shoulder.

“The two of us are gonna pack the drum kit and then go out for drinks.” He announces, fixing Kakashi with a pointed look that left no room for argument. “Don’t do anything _too_ stupid.”

Iruka is delighted to see Kakashi blush badly enough for it to be seen above the edge of his mask.

With that, Tenzou practically drags Gai out of the room, closing the door behind them. Kakashi looks a little startled at the haste of his friend’s exit but after a second he shakes his head and places the water bottles he’d grabbed for them on the table.

“Horrible,” he grumbles, dropping down onto the couch next to Iruka. “I got all this water for them and they didn’t even take any.” He glances at Iruka, then down at the empty beer cup in his hand, then back at Iruka. Without saying a word, he pulls the empty cup out of Iruka’s hand and replaces it with a water bottle.

“You’re taking one, then.” he says, nodding to himself. “How much did you drink?”

“Not much,” Iruka chuckles, unscrewing the cap and taking a long sip. “But enough that I probably need this.”

Kakashi laughs lightly at that, grabbing his own bottle from the table, the two of them drifting off into a comfortable silence as they both quietly sip their water.

“You were great tonight,” Iruka says after a while, watching the way Kakashi’s face lights up at the compliment. “I had a lot of fun.”

“I’m glad.” Kakashi nods, his voice echoing the smile hidden under his mask.

“Seriously, Kakashi,” Iruka chuckles, shaking his head. “You were amazing up there. I hadn’t known what to expect but you still blew me away.”

The man laughs quietly at Iruka’s words, sounding a little embarrassed and a lot flattered.

“Thank you,” he smiles, inclining his head and studying Iruka carefully. “What was your favorite part?”

Iruka flushes immediately, already knowing the answer to the question without even thinking about it.

“Ah, it was the last song….for sure.” he mumbles out, looking away in a futile attempt to save face. The linoleum floor becomes very interesting just then.

For a brief second, Kakashi goes completely still. Iruka barely breathes from the thickness in his chest and in the air. An unnamed tension fills the room before Kakashi shifts slightly. He doesn’t see what Kakashi does, as he’s still turned away, but he hears a quiet rustle of fabric and then suddenly there’s a hand touching his jaw, gently turning his face towards the other man.

He resists only for a moment before giving in and letting himself be pulled closer. His eyes flicker upwards to Kakashi’s face and stick there, widening in shock.

Kakashi had, while Iruka was turned away, pulled his mask off completely, exposing the lower half of his face for the first time. And _Jesus Christ_ \- Iruka would’ve been mad if he wasn’t so fucking gay, ‘cause Kakashi was literally the prettiest person Iruka had ever seen.

 _Unfair_ , he thinks for a second, before going back to being gay.

Kakashi’s scar traced the curve of his sharp cheekbones, following the line of his thin, straight nose before smoothing out an inch or two above his mouth. A small mole sits below the left side of his mouth and Iruka knows he’s straight up staring now, his face heating up in embarrassment.

Still, he doesn’t look away, ‘cause Kakashi’s lips are slowly curling up into a small smile and it’s one of the most beautiful things Iruka’s seen in a long, long time.

“You-” he starts, voice strained and thick. “You took your mask off….”

The smile on Kakashi’s face unfurls and grows, the other man flashing his teeth as he laughs. Iruka feels utterly rooted in place.

“I did.” Kakashi murmurs, looking at Iruka with so much warmth it almost hurt.

“But....why?”

Kakashi moves slowly, returning his hands to Iruka’s face, cupping his jaw gently on either side and leans forward until Iruka can feel the other man’s breath puff against his mouth when he replies.

“So I can do this.”

And then Kakashi’s mouth is on his, gentle and questioning, but insistent, as if making sure Iruka couldn’t play this off as dream. For a moment, Iruka doesn’t move, too shocked to do anything but try and process what was happening. His apparent hesitance was enough for Kakashi to start to pull away, probably thinking he’d made a mistake by kissing Iruka and _no, no way, that won’t do at all_ -

Iruka surges forward, throwing his arms around Kakashi’s neck and fiercely kissing him back.

Kakashi reacts immediately, kissing him back just as passionately, even as the weight of Iruka practically tackling him knocks the two of them into the corner of the couch. Kakashi lets out a small _oof_ as his back hits the cushion, but neither of them stop.

The only functioning part of Iruka’s brain tells him that it would probably take a lot for him to stop kissing Kakashi right then. He doubts even Tenzou or Gai walking in right then would be enough for the two of them to stop making out like horny teenagers hopped up on unrestrained emotion.

He was fine with that.

Kakashi was a wonderful kisser, because of _course_ he was.

His hair was as soft as he’d imagined it to be when Iruka finally ran his fingers through it, relishing the pleased noise Kakashi made when he did so. The other man’s hands had shifted, one moving to the back of Iruka’s neck, the other splayed across the planes of his back.

Kakashi is the one to pull away first, surprisingly, but he doesn’t go far, simply leaning their foreheads together as the two of them caught their breath.

Iruka huffs out a small laugh, one of Kakashi’s eyebrows quirking up at the noise.

“What’s so funny?” He asks, the corners of his mouth twitching up in response.

“It’s nothing big,” Iruka reassures him, still laughing a little under his breath. “I’d just wanted to do that for a while.”

Kakashi joins in on his laughter at Iruka’s admission, looking beautiful and slightly disheveled underneath him.

“Since when?”

Iruka thinks for a second, sitting up slowly, pointedly ignoring the part of his brain that reminded him that was practically in Kakashi’s lap.

“Since the night I invited you over for dinner the first time.” he answers after a second. “You were about to leave and I could barely stop myself from kissing you then. After that it kinda fell into place for me.”

Kakashi chuckles quietly, shaking his head.

“You should’ve,” he grins wolfishly at Iruka’s expression. “Would’ve saved us a lot of trouble.”

Iruka snorts at that, shaking his head.

“What about you?” He asks, curious to know the other man’s answer.

“When you knocked on my door and told me to quit playing guitar so loud.” Kakashi answers immediately. “I hadn’t even known there was a new neighbor, but there you were, dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt, barefoot and totally pissed, yet still one of the loveliest people I’d ever seen.” He laughs at Iruka’s incredulous expression. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m serious! I almost invited you in that night, but figured that was probably a very bad idea, considering why you were at my door in the first place.”

Kakashi shakes his head and continues, softer.

“And then when we talked on the balcony a couple weeks later, I thought I was hallucinating when I saw you out there. Had to convince my drunk brain that yeah, people that beautiful really do exist. And then I had to convince myself you were real _again_ , ‘cause not only were you beautiful but you were also a genuinely good person. You saw I was sad and baked me _cookies_ , for god’s sake. You invited me over for dinner with you and Naruto. You love my dogs and my dogs love you. Fuck,” Kakashi laughs, his hands gently pulling Iruka closer again. “Even Tenzou and Gai like you, and they’re protective as hell. You gave me your number and I thought to myself that it would be so easy to fall in love with you and, unsurprisingly,-”

Their lips are millimeters apart when Kakashi speaks again, his voice filled with warmth and intensity and so much _love_ it ached.

“- it was.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, this marks the end of the MAIN chunk of story I wrote, i hope y'all like it!  
> there's actually about 2k of an epilogue that'll be up in a couple days as well to finally wrap this story up  
> i'm really excited to post it so it might come a little sooner, who knows. we'll see!!!!  
> anyway, lmk what y'all think in the comments, of course, and kudos are always appreciated!  
> again, u can find me on twitter @ basilwizard if you wanna chat about gay ninjas!  
> thanks for reading!


	3. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to Everyone for reading this fic!!! i appreciate all ur comments and kudos a lot  
> i present to you the final installment of this fic: the epilogue!  
> its ab 2k but it felt right. i hope you all enjoy!

Kakashi fidgets nervously on Iruka’s couch, tapping out random beats on his thigh in order to keep himself sane.

“Stop that.” Iruka tells him from the kitchen, not having to look in his direction to know Kakashi’s internal anguish is quickly becoming _external_ anguish. “You’re going to be fine.”

“Easy for you to say.” Kakashi shoots back, jiggling his leg way faster than he really needed or wanted too. “You don’t have to _do_ anything.”

“Moral support is a tough job, you know.” Iruka says simply.

Kakashi just groans loudly and face-plants into one of the couch cushions. Shiba, Urushi, Bisuke and Akino watch him from their dogpile on the floor, unimpressed. Pakkun lets out an exasperated grunt and waddles out of the room, no longer wanting to be around his owner anymore. Kakashi glares at them half heartedly and groans louder.

He hears Iruka enter the room and fights down the urge to look up. He was being petulant and he knew it, but that didn’t mean Kakashi was about to stop.

Iruka knows this and gently nudges Kakashi over until the other man makes room for him on the couch. Still face down in the cushions, Kakashi feels the couch dip as Iruka settles in between him and a curled up Guruko, letting out a pleased sigh when his boyfriend’s fingers comb through his hair.

“Try and relax a little bit, okay?” Iruka soothes, voice gentle. “It’ll be fine, I promise. Everything’s going to be okay.”

Kakashi had never been very good at thinking optimistically, but something about Iruka was starting to convince him.

The past two months since he and Iruka got together had been really, _really_ good.

He’d gotten introduced to Iruka’s rather extensive friend group, with a heavy emphasis on three people: Izumo, Kotetsu, and Anko. He’d also met Genma, Raidou, Kurenai, and Asuma, and the whole lot of them had gone out drinking a couple times, which was always a wild time since Iruka was only really friends with crazy people and Kurenai, who shared Kakashi’s incredulity at the group’s antics.

Iruka’s weekly dinner invites had eventually turned into a system where the two of them had a schedule on who was cooking each night. Most weeknights it was Kakashi’s turn, but sometimes Iruka would join in and help, the two of them sharing a quiet domesticity as they worked together in the kitchen.

A year ago, Kakashi would’ve said he wasn’t made for being in love, and probably would’ve bet money on how many weeks it would take for him to freak out and bolt. As it was now, leaving Iruka never even crossed his mind.

Iruka, whose fingers brushed through his hair even as Kakashi continues lying face down on his couch. He sighs and sits up, frowning.

“How can you be so sure?” he asks, sounding rather forlorn.

Iruka laughs and there’s a dusting of flour on his shirt collar and across his cheek, only visible when he turns to look at Kakashi’s earnest expression.

“Because I am.” is all he answers, pressing a quick kiss to Kakashi’s mouth even as he stands, making his way back to the kitchen, carefully stepping over a sleeping Bull. “Now, come help me with this stupid thing.”

Kakashi grimaces at his boyfriend’s cryptic answer and follows behind him, still frowning.

“But-”

“Kakashi,” Iruka sounds mildly exasperated now, shooting him a pointed look. “It’s going to be fine so _stop stressing out about it_.”

Grumbling, Kakashi ties on an apron and tries to listen to Iruka’s advice. Ūhei licks his hand from her spot on one of the table chairs.

A bag of powdered sugar and a cup of milk are pushed into his hands and Kakashi goes to work, forcefully thinking of everything and anything that wasn’t The Big Anxiety Thing.

Iruka takes pity on him and turns on the radio, filling the kitchen with one of their shared playlists. The two of them are singing along to one of their favorite songs when Iruka catches sight of him and bursts out laughing.

“What?” Kakashi doesn’t pout but he gets close, crossing his arms defensively as Iruka pulls himself together.

“Kakashi, honey,” he croons, brushing his fingers across on of Kakashi’s bare cheeks. “You’re supposed to make icing, not cover yourself in powdered sugar.”

“It’s not _my_ fault your electric mixer is broken,” he mutters, definitely pouting now. “It spit everything back up in my face when I turned it on.”

Iruka laughs again and kisses him, only pulling away when the timer goes off a couple minutes later. The pan comes out of the oven and Kakashi follows behind, making sure to turn the appliance off once Iruka’s done.

He finishes making the rest of the icing without a hitch and eventually joins Iruka on the couch while they wait for the cake they’d pulled out of the oven to cool down.

“How are _you_ feeling?” Kakashi asks after a minute, glancing over at the younger man, who looks vaguely apprehensive.

“Ah,” Iruka looks slightly guilty, as if he hadn’t meant to be caught in his thoughts. “I guess I’m nervous too, in my own way. It’s a special day.”

“Yeah,” Kakashi nods, sounding more confident than he felt. “We’ll be fine, though.”

They ice the cake quickly and efficiently together, though Kakashi lets Iruka do the detail work and lettering. He’s trembling at this point- just a little- but enough to ruin a cake.

He busies himself with cleaning the kitchen up instead, finishing at roughly the same time Iruka does. They smile at each other and put the cake in the fridge.

6 o’clock inches closer and at about 5:45, Iruka calls up the local ramen restaurant and orders dinner.

At 5:50, Iruka slings his arms around Kakashi’s neck and kisses him quickly on the mouth.

“Are you ready?” he asks, eyebrows raised.

“Absolutely not.” Kakashi replies.

They finish setting up the living room just seconds before someone starts banging at the front door, the two of them exchanging quick glances before Iruka goes to answer the door. Kakashi pulls on his mask and calls his dogs to the bedroom, telling them to _sit_ and _wait_ until his signal.

At 6:03 pm, Naruto and seven other middle schoolers tumble into the living room, wide eyed and gaping. He successfully names the kids as Sasuke, Sakura, Shikamaru, Kiba (Akamaru, too, of course) Chouji, Shino, and Hinata and feels very accomplished.

“Happy birthday, Naruto!” Iruka laughs, ruffling the boy’s hair playfully. Kakashi echoes the sentiment, smiling as the blonde squacks and looks between the two of them in surprise.

“You did this for _me?_ ” he asks, glancing around the living room with bright eyes.

Kakashi feels rightfully proud at his reaction, since both he and Iruka had spent most of their saturday decorating the apartment with balloons and banners and things like that. He’d even managed to wrangle most of his ninken into party hats, despite their doggie wiggles.

“Well, yeah.” He levels Naruto with an unimpressed look. “Who else would we do this for?”

He’d meant it as a joke, but Naruto surges forward, wrapping his arms around Kakashi’s middle and squeezing tight.

“Thank you.” he half whispered, voice muffled by Kakashi’s sweatshirt.

Kakashi must look as stunned as he feels, because Iruka can barely hold in his laughter. He sends a sharp glare towards the other man and pats Naruto awkwardly on the head in an effort to be nice.

Thankfully, the blonde lets go quickly, tackling Iruka in a similar hug for a few seconds before breaking off.

The other kids look equally as amazed, so Kakashi considers the decorations a success.

“Any of you kids scared of dogs?” he asks casually, ignoring the way Naruto looks at him suspiciously.

When no one says anything, he grins wolfishly at Naruto and claps him on the shoulder.

“You’re getting a two parter for your birthday gift, got it?” He explains. “This is part one.”

“I got it!” The blonde nods vigorously, catching on quickly. “Can you show me my gift now?”

Kakashi whistles sharply and all eight of his dogs tumble out of the bedroom and swarm the group of kids. Naruto, Kiba and Hinata all look ecstatic, with the other kids a little less so, but they all seem to be enjoying the surprise of his dogs, so Kakashi considers that a success too.

Not long after this, the ramen arrives, and the rest of the party goes by perfectly.

After dinner, he and Iruka escape to the kitchen to prepare the cake.

“When are you planning on doing it?” Iruka asks quietly, keeping his voice down.

Kakashi carefully places the candles on the cake, making sure not to disturb any of Iruka’s hard work, and swallows nervously.

“After this. I promise.”

The knot in his stomach tightens, but he lights the wicks and puts on a smile anyway.

He turns the living room lights out as Iruka walks in with the lit birthday cake. Everyone sings happy birthday, and the cake gets devoured immediately afterwards. The lights come back on and then it’s gift giving time, everyone piling around Naruto on the sofa as the blonde opens the gifts his friends got him. Some of them were a little strange, but Naruto’s eyes lit up for each gift, no matter how small or weird it was.

Kakashi feels a warmth fill a chest at the sight. Fuck, he’s getting sentimental, isn’t he?

After everything gets opened, Iruka puts on a movie to distract the others and Kakashi taps Naruto lightly on the shoulder.

“You ready for gift part two?” He asks.

Naruto looks confused when Kakashi leads him into the kitchen rather than give him the gift right there, but follows regardless.

“What’s part two, ‘Kashi?” The kid asks, unbearably curious as he sits down at the kitchen table. “And why are you giving me it in here?”

“Well,” He starts, taking a deep breath. “It’s kinda a long story. You know I grew up in the orphanage your dad ran, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” Naruto nods, frowning. “How could I forget?”

Kakashi swallows, unbelievably nervous. He’d kept his promise to Iruka and had told Naruto about their shared history. Since then, he’d been telling Naruto stories about his parents every so often, but this was something different.

“Well, I did a bit of digging in storage and uh….I found this.”

He pulls a small rectangular gift out of his sweatshirt pocket and hands it to Naruto carefully.

The kid takes the package delicately, reading Kakashi’s body language and knowing that whatever was under the gift wrap was very precious.

He rips the paper carefully and pulls it away, revealing a small wooden picture frame. Naruto goes very still, eyes impossibly wide as he takes in the gift.

It’s an old picture, a little yellowed at the edges, and it had a crease through one of the corners, but the image was still clear.

It’s of a bedroom, a man with familiar yellow hair kneeling next to a bed where a woman with bright red hair sits, a baby cradled in her arms. The woman is laughing as she watches the blonde haired man interact with the young baby. It’s a candid picture, as no one is looking at the camera, but the expressions on the man and woman’s faces are undeniable.

“That’s Minato,” Kakashi points the man out before his finger shifts to the red haired woman. “That’s Kushina.” His finger falls on the baby. “And that’s you, Naruto.”

Naruto doesn’t speak for a very long time, just stares, wide eyed, at the picture in silence.

“Who took this picture?” he mumbles eventually, not looking away.

“Ah,” Kakashi exhales. “That would be me.”

Naruto nods, as if he’d expected it.

“They look so happy.” he says, quiet.

“They were.” Kakashi nods, his chest feeling raw. “They loved you so much.”

He steps closer and kneels next to the chair, putting his hand reassuringly on Naruto’s shoulder.

“I know you don’t remember them,” He says slowly, choosing his words carefully. “But I do. And I know, without a single doubt in my mind, that if they could see you today….they would be so proud, Naruto.”

Naruto looks at him then, practically rips his eyes away from the picture, and Kakashi sees tears there for the briefest of seconds before he has an armful of a sobbing 13 year old. He allows himself a moment of _oh god I fucked up_ before he picks up the fact that Naruto is crying, yeah, but he’s also grabbed onto Kakashi’s sweatshirt with a vice grip and buried his face in his shoulder. Very distantly, he registers that Naruto says something.

“T-Thank you, ‘Kashi-”

The tension bleeds from Kakashi’s shoulders and he wraps his arms around the trembling blonde, simply holding him while Naruto cries himself out.

It takes a while, but that’s to be expected. Kakashi ignores his aching knees and does his best to be a comfort.

He doesn’t cry himself, but when Naruto straightens up, scrubs at his wet cheeks, sniffling slightly but no longer tearing up, and gives him a watery (but determined) smile, he feels infinitely lighter anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> she's done.......whew...  
> i wanna thank my best friend and awesome editor/proofreader rom for helping me super hard on this one  
> i love u man!  
> anyway, i hope you've enjoyed this fic- it was fun to write and also...cathartic? i just love soft center kakashi sm......let him be soft!!  
> as usual lmk your thoughts in the comments and follow me on twitter at @basilwizard  
> i'm gonna go pet my cat now!!! bye!!


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